Judge a Book by Its Cover. Then Read It Anyway.

“Ama, I pegged you wrong.  I guess I usually peg girls like you wrong and it didn’t help that you’re a white…but you were nothing like I thought you’d be.”

At every one of the many orientations that were required before coming to Ghana, the question consistently asked was, “What are your expectations?”

To which I would always reply, “I don’t think I really have any.  I expect it to be hard.  I expect it to be different.  Besides that, I can’t really say.”

It was a lie.

I didn’t know it was a lie when I said it, but now I know it was a lie.  I think as humans we all have some kind of expectations for everything we encounter – it’s in our very nature.  We make judgments based on our past experience and prepare ourselves accordingly.  That’s why we lower our heads when we hear someone yell “Duck!” and not immediately search for a waddling bird.  We need to make judgments every day of our lives, but that shouldn’t stop us from looking at other alternatives.  Look at it this way: if a ball doesn’t fly over your head, there may be a web-footed friend nearby.

Experience:
In places where the sun shines a lot, sunscreen is sold there.
Expectation:
Sunscreen will be sold in Ghana.
Lesson Learned:
Places that have a majority of people whose skin doesn’t burn do not have a demand for sunscreen and it isn’t sold.  Do not take the sunscreen out of your checked luggage because it’s heavy and you’d rather take Nutella.

Experience:
Dairy is a major component of the food pyramid and therefore dairy products are abundant everywhere.
Expectation:
There will be milk and cheese in Ghana.
Lesson Learned:
The food pyramid is used in America – not every country in the world adheres to its counsels.  Milk and cheese are not abundant in every part of the world.

Experience:
Being called fat is an insult.  Weight is a sensitive topic.
Expectation:
People wouldn’t talk THAT much about my weight or get excited when I gain a little or worried when I lose a little.  (I was told being fat was beautiful in Ghana, but I didn’t think it would be so blatant.)
Lesson Learned:
Beauty is something unique to every culture.  Don’t be offended when a stranger comes up to you and happily says, “You’re nice and fat!”  She has the best intentions.

Experience:
Most foods are meant to be eaten with utensils.
Expectation:
Most people eat the majority of their food with a fork, knife and/or spoon.
Lesson Learned:
You can eat anything, including soup, with your hands.

Experience:
I had always fit in nicely with my community.  I didn’t stand out in any particular way.
Expectation:
I’ll be in the minority.  It’ll take time to get used to, but I’ll find my place and it’ll seem normal.
Lesson Learned:
Being in the minority is never easy and while I found a way to cope with it, having everyone call out the color of my skin does not ever seem normal.

Once I was talking to an exchange student who was on the verge of leaving.  She was in tears -- living in Ghana is really hard.  Don’t let anyone trick you into thinking otherwise.  I asked her why she came.  Wasn’t she happy back home?  Why did she want to leave that to come to a developing nation?  Did she think things would be better here?  Her response:  “I guess I expected to be happier here.”

I talked to this girl before we had come.  She said she had no expectations.  She did though and Ghana did not meet her expectations.

The trick to expecting things is to not let disappointment overcome whatever good can be found.  Expect whatever you like on whatever basis you want, but expect your expectation to never be completely accurate.  Don’t let that discourage you.

Judge a book by its cover.  Read it.  Learn from it.  Tell a friend what you learned.